[jigsawlogic]

Jay, if you think she's the kind that likes a more dominant man, use what you've got to your advantage.

You've already cooked her several dinners, but none have included metal shavings/porcelain shards that could produce injury.

That's the difference between a friend/wimpy man and a take-charge/suck my hand grenade kind of man.

The hand grenade man stomps a ceramic dish into slivers, and then cooks those slivers into whatever the hell the bitch is gonna eat. When she complains that the slivers made her bleed, he slaps her. Repeatedly. "If you're not crying about how good it tastes, then your crying about the wrong thing."

After the initial trauma, show her your soft side by giving her a pair of glasses large and dark enough to cover most of the bruising. But you can't be too soft about it! When she reaches for the glasses, slap her hand away, and throw them near her feet. Her only recourse will be to grab them from the ground, opening the way for any number of terribly demeaning comments.

Once her spirit is broken, she'll realize that the man she's been looking for all her life had been standing right in front of her...and it's time to give him a foot massage.

One more thing...I'm completely joking about everything I just wrote.

The only truth with women is this: Only under very abnormal circumstances will a desirable woman pledge herself to a man who is clearly weaker than her. If the girl you've been chasing is worthy of being chased, then you have an equal obligation to prove yourself a worthy pursuer. If you've known her for 2 years without stating your intentions, then you are in the worst position: a male storage depot, where she goes to forage before leaving to select the right man in a time of plenty (provided by you) rather than accept a poor candidate in weakened state.