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Old 6th February 2003   #17
Jack Ruston
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Brighton UK
Posts: 1,095

Get a Bengal tiger.

This will help to intimidate the dog into shutting up. Also it has the undeniable advantage of putting your studio top of the list should any heavyweight boxers decide to record a single.


Seriously though...The dog is defending its territory. It barks becuase it sees people and it wants them f**K off. What it doesnt seem to have a clear concept of is YOUR territory. It can only be made to understand this in one way. You must first show it who's boss. Stare it in the eyes and growl in a feral way. Show your teeth. The bigger and more menacing they are, the better, so one of those £2.99 vampire kits might be a good idea. Hopefully it will accept your dominance and back down, by looking away and hanging its head. You can reinforce this by pushing its head *gently* down. (If it is a large and rabid dog, I admit that this is a bit like one of those 'become a rock star' books that begins "first, get better than anyone else at your instrument') Now you are ready to mark your own territory. Get your old feller out and urinate copiously all round the perimeter of the dogs' yard. Remember to ration this process so that you dont run out! This should work a treat. Remember...It is of vital importance that you dont proceed to the territorial marking phase until the initial dominance is achieved. Failure to observe this fundamental rule of dog control could result in physical and emotional discomfort.

Best of luck Jules

Jack
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