I was holding this one back but hopefully y'all find it amusing-
A few years ago I was producing a duo act when a mutual friend of mine and the act who played keys in a major-label band at one point offered to come play keys on the recordings. We all agreed even though we knew this person has some, well, 'baggage' and can be somewhat unpredictable and dramatic. Nevertheless, he pretty much wasn't taking no for an answer as he 'had to be on this record'. Anyway, he shows up hours late so that by the time he shows I've already done the keyboard parts myself. Undeterred he demands that because he has brought his new paramour with him he needs to impress this person and play on something. Reluctantly, I deciide to set up a cheap harmonium for shits and giggles and let him have at it with the implicit understanding that it is merely for show and as soon as we get one pass he's done, show over, he looks like a genius and we go to dinner. Easy, riight? Well, he takes the first pass and I'm just about to say, "Great, let's move on..." when he says "I think I can do better". I say, "No, I think you got it buddy" but he starts making a scene and demands that we do another pass! Now I don't know if you've ever played harmonium but there's a lot of huffing and puffing and it's pretty hard-to-time the bellows perfectly if you haven't done it much. I was really fed up and tired from a 12-hour day so far so after the second pass, which he thought was brilliant, I protested "I think you can do better". Of course he took the challenge-for the next hour and a half!!! I think I made him do something like 23 takes and he was completely exhausted and didn't seem to notice the duo I was producing laughing their asses off in the corner of the control room. He was huffing and puffing, churning and burning and I thought he was gonna' fall over at one point he was working so hard. It was like an episode of the Three Stooges except two were missing.
To this day he keeps asking me why the harmonium didn't make it on the record. The duo and I made a deal to keep blaming the other as to why it didn't make it. "No, they wanted it out. We loved it". I still love the guy but at least once a year when I'm having a bad day I open the session just to listen to the harmonium takes and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.
I love show bidness.
