[luddite]

Originally Posted by theblue1

I listened to this the other day but didn't comment then. Some of the subsequent comments have got me going.

Same here :-)

First, I'm a fan of outsider music. I like the way David Thomas from Pere Ubu sings. Big fan of Captain Beefheart, etc.* [/quote]

Beefheart rules in so many ways. Doc at the radar station is great.

Originally Posted by theblue1

Anyhow, I can tell when a vocal is pretty far out of tune and, in places, this track's main vocal certainly is. If that's what you as the artist wants, fine. It presumably conveys lack of artifice. But it's also somewhat awkward and more than a little uncomfortable in places.

I wasnt trying for out of tune. I didnt even notice until it was pointed out. I still cant see it really. I will do a new version but i think the original mistakes are usually keepers.

Originally Posted by theblue1

As noble as the attempt to avoid the grid is -- and it is -- it's problematic here. This is a fairly muddy rhythmic sea. The arpeggiation of the keys and drum fight it out uncomfortably.

I dont know what this grid is, but i think its the midi one. The song is cut and pastable as its perfectly recorded into a click track. the drums were hand placed though and i dont quantize them ever really because i think its barely noticable and takes too long for a result.

Originally Posted by theblue1

Much attention has been paid to the kick. I'm very much with the camp that wants it buried. More like a foot stomp.I can't help but think the song would be well served by a more conventional drum part, but if one is going to go with primarily just the kick, I think it's crying to sink into the background quite a bit and, also, to share in some of that reverb that drenches much of the track. As it is, it sounds completely divorced from the song, like it's glued on out in front.

Its buried now. Also Im playing with filters on it.

Originally Posted by theblue1

Speaking of reverb, I would definitely be inclined to rethink it entirely. As cool as the b/u vox sound back there, when you apply it to the main vocal after the first bit, it pushes that vocal back and then the other instruments all but bury it.

Thinking now.

Originally Posted by theblue1

Anyhow, there's a lot of charm to this song, but I can't help but feel like you haven't quite found its optimal representation.

I think it's well worth working just a bit more on.



___________

Definately. thanks

Originally Posted by theblue1

* That said, their vocals work because they're outsiders and because they're not trying to sing straight.

:-)