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Famous artist to his hired-gun guitarist: "Hey, you know that cool thing you just played? Don't do that again."
Producer to struggling performer: "I appreciate what you're trying to do..."
After a day of high decibel kick drum auditioning, the famous artist suggests that he not come in until he is needed. The producer's response, delivered with a shrug, "It's your record."
I was working with a well known act that had been a trio, now working as a duo. At one point, I was asked to sing a high harmony, just out of my range - the kind of part the former member would have sung. After a bit of a struggle, I was starting to get something useable, when the talkback came on, "Hey, we were just saying how much you sound like D**." I said, "um, thanks", only to have the talkback come back with the reply, "That wasn't a compliment."
At my very first session as a session guitarist (for a jingle), I looked up and noticed a guy from the ad agency on the sofa picking his nose, digging for gold. I whispered as quietly as I could to the bass player, "Check out the nose picker in the front row." The talkback came on, "Live and in color, fellas."
Hmmm....H
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