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Hi Steve,
As a bassist who has played in a number of such sonically challenged venues, I know exactly what you mean. When space is tight bass just has an uncanny ability to explode on certain notes.
As you suggested, I think the low cut idea is going to be your best bet for this, but as an off the wall suggestion, have you tried mucking around with phasing? Perhaps inverting the phase at key points could effectively cancel out the booming bass? Or you could try some tight eq cut on the other mic's, depending on what node they were emphasising - tight enough to not effect the overall sound of the instruments...?
Really sympathise with you on this one. Sounds like the sort of thing that could drive a guy insane.
Douglas.
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