| Hey, TROT, I think it's fantastic that you have put so much of yourself into helping her, and I think it's horribly frustrating and disappointing the costs of time, money, and spirit you have expended. At best you can recoup only the $, and it sounds like that will be a complicated process. I wish you success with it.
As someone who works a great deal with young and developing artists, I will humbly point out that in your conversation tomorrow, you have some profound teaching opportunities. Perhaps before the "come to Jesus" portion of the talk where you hash out contractual obligations and her outstanding balance, the two of you might have a candid conversation about her dreams and ambitions. A turn back the clock talk. This can be a time to speak as her teammate and co-conspirator as the two of you use animated and detailed language to paint a picture of what you might accomplish with this project. The same kind of talk you probably had many months ago when you started down this path. The more you can draw her out and hear her language on the subject, her words to describe what she wants, the more stones you have to lay for the foundation of the discussion to follow.
After all that dreamer language, I think it would be valuable then for both of you if you asked her why she isn't more invested in the project. Perhaps there is something profound getting in the way. Self-sabotage takes many forms, and laziness is one of them. Nelson Mandela famously remarked that "our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...." She might just be lazy. Or she might not know how to do what it is you need of her.
Are you guys co-writing? YOU may be writing absolutely killer songs, well beyond her ability to write alone. But if she doesn't feel personally invested in them on multiple levels (lyrically, stylistically, you name it), she is less likely to lift a finger on their behalf. And that leaves you with some seriously heavy lifting. How does she feel about the songs? Are there some more than others where she lights up? Have you guys ever talked about her mission statement as an artist and how this material articulates that person? If she doesn't care about her songs (i.e., the songs you may have sculpted around her sentiments or feelings), there is no way an audience will care. And that is when you know you should cut your losses.
But if this conversation rekindles any meaningful sparks, then perhaps the two of you can talk about what expectations you had and have of each other and how those expectations have not been but could be met. She should tell you what expectations she has of herself. She has to meet her financial obligations to you. Moving forward should be contingent upon that. But if she doesn't want to give up on the project, perhaps there are things you can delegate to her. By teaching her some skills you give her more power and thus more responsibility. And if you are parting ways and settling up, you can still come across not as the debt-collector but as the same person who believed in her in the first place and who wants to guide her positively toward her next move (with someone else!). Learning to pay for her mistakes, figuratively and fiscally, is part of that process.
I always tell young writers that what interests them will lead them to their truth. You are clearly a passionate and talented person. That is probably why she wanted to work with you in the first place. You likely have the skill to bring out her passion, her truth. And you have the insight to understand if she lacks the passion to move this forward. Either way, I think this conversation can be a much more positive and global one in which her responsibilities to you as teammate, guide, and technician, and to herself become clear to her and to you.
Even when I'm "teaching" a new artist, I always learn a great deal from them and from the situation. I hope this conversation, as difficult as it might seem now, will prove a positive one that will reinvigorate you and your work. You went into the project and logged all those hours for the right reasons. Respecting yourself might help her respect her responsibilities to you. Good luck. |