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Old 19th December 2007   #156
uptoolate
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 565

Guys!!!

Don't you know the truth about the way the 3630 came to be?

It's because God created it in heaven and presented it to his wonderful singing angel, know then as Lucifer. God just had one condition. "Lucifer, you may only use this beloved compressor on my voice". God didn't say this because he was selfish. He said this because he knew that if an angel ever heard their own voice thought this incredible device, that they would certainly love the device more than God himself. He knew they would idolize it and try to place it on the throan instead of God. He knew they would try modify his throan into a single space 19" rack. He really didn't want them to jack up his throan like that.

Eventually Lucifer could resist no more. He patched his own voice through the 3630. He began to sing and suddenly, he was completely all freaked out with buldging eyes and stuff.

Just then, God walked in and caught Lucifer red handed. Because Lucifer had disobeyed God, he was cast out of heaven, vanquished forever. His name was changed to Satan.

As Satan was cast out of heaven, he reached for the 3630 and brought it with him as he tumbled through space and time, falling to earth.

He hit the ground really hard. The compressor hit the ground so hard that it penetrated the earth, going all the way to the other side of the earth. This location was what would oneday become known as China of course.

Millions of years went by and around 1980 something or 1990 something, a sweat shop worker stumbled upon it. He took it to his boss. His boss tested it and knew how wonderful it was. He tore it apart and copied down every design feature. He then began to manufacture this unit at the rate of 1,000,000 per day. He took out some add space in some United States music magazines and sold more 3630s than he ever could have dreamed.

He split the profits with Satan.

This is the real story behind the wonderful 3630. It is amazing and a little spooky also.

That's why it sounds so good. It's got that spooky Satan mojo going on.
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