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Hmmm - I think I will offer a break-in service for new mics.
Here's how it works:
the client buys a new mic and gives it to me for 5 years. I record lots of loud drums, spitty vocalists and blaring trumpets with it until all the harshness is gone. After the 5 years is up I send the mic back to the customer.
Now if I can just figure out a fair price to charge the customer for this service...
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